Raise Your Hand If You Want Relationship Advice

April 19, 2013 § 4 Comments

Something has come up that demands my attention. Apparently men and women have a history of misunderstanding each other when it comes to what they really want.  I’ve spent my life quietly observing the inner workings of both sides so I can clear things up.

Women – want to be with someone who will buy them things, play with their hair and tell them they are pretty.

Men – want a close loving relationship with someone who is hot and will leave them the fuck alone.

Both – want someone who is good in bed.

I’m pretty sure that right there just qualified me to be a marriage and family counselor. Which is a career I totally respect but would never do. Only because I’d rather spend my day listening to a baby monitor in my own little corner of hell than spend the day listening to other people’s relationship problems.

Dysfunctional is the new functional. Problem solved. I’m glad I could help.

Which reminds me, can we talk about something else now?

You Had Me At…Nevermind:

Say Anything Boombox

Couple fighting

Laying in bed

Guy vs. Girl

Getting Flowers

Guy yelling

Ballet Couple

Little Kids Fighting

Hugging Hard

Cute couple posing

You Get What You Fucking Give

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