April 19, 2013 § 4 Comments
Something has come up that demands my attention. Apparently men and women have a history of misunderstanding each other when it comes to what they really want. I’ve spent my life quietly observing the inner workings of both sides so I can clear things up.
Women – want to be with someone who will buy them things, play with their hair and tell them they are pretty.
Men – want a close loving relationship with someone who is hot and will leave them the fuck alone.
Both – want someone who is good in bed.
I’m pretty sure that right there just qualified me to be a marriage and family counselor. Which is a career I totally respect but would never do. Only because I’d rather spend my day listening to a baby monitor in my own little corner of hell than spend the day listening to other people’s relationship problems.
Dysfunctional is the new functional. Problem solved. I’m glad I could help.
Which reminds me, can we talk about something else now?
You Had Me At…Nevermind: