February 19, 2013 § 5 Comments
Sunday I opened the freezer to find just one lonely 1/2 gallon of sherbert. And on top of that, this sherbert was in semi melty-form. Thanks to my fridge which only works half of the time. (Damn you, fridge selling guy on Craigslist!)
But being the savvy problem solver I am, that didn’t stop me. And instead of doing what a non-problem solver might do (throw away a perfectly good 1/2 gallon of melty sherbert).
I invented (and also, ate) something I call “Sherbert Soup”.*
I know, the name is pure genius right? Only maybe its a bit misleading cause ‘soup’ may imply that I heated it up, which would be gross. No, of course I didn’t do that. I just ate it exactly the way it was, kind of like gazpacho. Except replace ‘whatever-the-hell-is-in-gazpacho’ with sherbert.
On second thought, I’m not sure if this whole thing was a ‘win’ although it really did seem like it at the time…
But Really, Have You Gone To A Trader Joe’s On A Sunday?**
*settle down, boys, this girl’s taken
**If you haven’t gone to Trader Joe’s on a Sunday, let me just tell you. It’s a nightmare.
February 7, 2013 § 5 Comments
1. Things That Sparkle
Cause I’m never not into sparkles. Adults need sparkles. They really do. And if you don’t agree, then I guess you have a lot of growing up to do.
I’m aware both awesome-ness and utter despair still exist. I’m just not interested in either at the moment. I really don’t care (as I previously mentioned with the whole apathy thing).
3. These Sneakers
Actually maybe I should take these off the post because I’m totally going to get them. And I really don’t want everyone else to have the same pair. But then I’d have to find something else to put here and what if I didn’t find anything I liked? Then I’d be forced to lie about being into whatever it was. So how about I just give you a warning – Seriously, don’t even think about getting these. Ok? Agreed?
Wait – scratch that. I just saw how much they cost and I’m way to poor for that shit.
To the woman out there who ends up buying these, promise me you’ll give them the life I never could.
4. Printed Jeans
I’m going to wear my printed jeans for the rest of my life. And if somewhere along the line I happen to get pregnant, that won’t stop me. I’ll just be forced to turn them into maternity printed jeans but luckily I won’t have to have them taken back in afterwards, since losing the baby weight is completely unheard of.*
Cause it’s cold out bitches!**
*What do you mean Miranda Kerr has had a baby?!!
**LA cold, not actual cold. Also LC, we get it you’re pretty. Stop shoving it in our faces.
January 4, 2013 § 5 Comments
Everyone seems to be throwing around the term ‘girl crush’ these days. I was unsure if that meant – I totally respect you as a fellow female? Or I want you to move in with me, so we can adopt a baby together?
Just to be on the safe side I decided to pick a girl crush that’ll work either way. And man, does this chick have style.
Ode to Miranda Kerr
- I like the way you comb your hair and the stylish clothes you wear
- You have a body that makes me seriously consider revisiting my eating disorder phase
- Because of you, I respect Orlando Bloom
- Miranda, why are you so pretty?
- And why does your baby have the cutest chubby cheeks I’ve ever seen?
- Will you move in with me, so we can adopt a baby together? Or we can just raise the one you already have? That’s fine too