I’m Searching For A Real Love, Baby

November 28, 2012 § 1 Comment

I have something to tell you but promise you won’t hate me…

I really don’t love The Notebook. Or anything else by Nicholas Sparks. And also, the majority of rom-com’s. I know, I’m sorry. But if someone wrote me a letter every day I might think it was cute for about a month but after that I would just think, ‘needy.’

I’m not a cynic. I LOVE love but sometimes I think rom-com’s give people the wrong idea. I don’t need a grand gesture, I just need you to buy me things and tell me I’m pretty. And if that doesn’t work – go away, stalker. Let me give you the breakdown of every romantic comedy that has ever existed.

Spolier Alert: Boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy, boy does something stupid, boy makes grand romantic gesture, all is forgiven and the two live happily ever after. Which is great for entertainment value and there are a lot of romantic comedies I love but kind of like communism, sometimes things don’t quite play out the same in reality.

RomCom vs. Reality

  • Quirky is Cute – Quirky has the lifespan of about 3 months before it transforms into psycho ex-girlfriend
  • Persistance Pays Off – If you show up at my doorstep one more time, I’m going to sleep with your dad just to prove my point
  • Public Displays of Affection – If my boyfriend did a dance number in front of my entire school, I would congratulate him on coming out
  • Grand Gestures – If my name ever ends up on a kiss-cam, I won’t think twice about sending a mass email with that naked picture of you

Real Love Is Getting Matching Tattoos:

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