May 9, 2013 § 5 Comments
Rules, Thoughts & Questions I Have When Playing With Children:
- How much glitter is too much glitter?
- Will there be alcoholic beverages in your fort? If not, can I BYOB? And if the answer to that is no, then my answer is also no. No, I would not like to play in your fort.
- I’ll do my best to censor myself but if I accidentally let something slip then I reserve the right to apply the 5 second rule for take-backs. If I forget or am unable to call the 5 second rule, then and only then is your tattle tale-ing acceptable.
- I’m good with children because yeah, I totally get where they are coming from. Why DOES Allie get all the cool toys while we are stuck over here with this stupid play-dough??
- Do you have any gummy bears?
- I agree the dark is super spooky! And yeah absolutely its possible there’s a monster under the bed or in the closet but most likely BOTH!!
- Cherish these moments cause when you cry on the floor in public places as an adult they don’t call it a tantrum, they call the cops.
- I know for a fact I know more than you cause you’re a virgin. So there.
- Can I borrow that headband?
- Do you think they make your dress in my size?
- I’d rather not see the world through a child’s eyes cause that means I’m stuck staring at crotches all day.
- You must tell me your skin care regimen. Your skin is amazing. I must have your face. Give it to me.
- I also eat baby food. It’s technically normal food but since I’m crying the entire time I think it still counts.
P.S. You little ones are the future. So I would like to respectfully ask that you do your best to un-fuck everything in the world we’ve fucked so far. I know that’s a lot to ask but I have full faith in all of you.
Suri, When Are We Hanging Out? Text Me: