10 Things Being A Blackout Drunk Has Taught Me

February 5, 2013 § 5 Comments

  1. You can’t take back the shit you don’t remember saying. And there’s a strong possibility it was some pretty messed up shit. 
  2. It’s really hard to not fall down in 4 inch heels.
  3. I am officially “too old for this shit”.
  4. If you puke in the cab, that cabbie will come after you.
  5. There’s a chance you might die. (This is something I make sure to remind myself before I leave the house.)
  6. It’s a waste of time to worry about what other people think of you.
  7. Making friends with total strangers isn’t always a bad thing but sometimes, its a very bad thing. 
  8. Last night’s impromptu dance party, is next week’s ‘lying about how I got this black eye’.
  9. 90% of my time is spent suppressing my crazy, 3% is spent humiliating myself and 7% is spent formulating a strategy for redemption.* 
  10. I am ‘that girl’.

I Make Little To No Effort To Take Care Of Myself:

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*Not accounted for is approximately .025% spent picking up my credit card from the bar the next day.

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