July 12, 2013 § 1 Comment
I just got back from visiting Nashville for the first time. And let me tell you, that city is chaos. Every bar has an obnoxious over the top theme and is filled with drunk dudes wearing pants that are too tight alongside drunk girls wearing too much hairspray. The loud karaoke country music is unavoidable. Every time you turn around someone is handing you a shot of you whiskey and screaming ‘Merica. Drink till you fall down seems to be the city’s motto. It’s awesome.
How come ya’ll* never told me Nashville was so freakin’ sweet? And now I’m into big hair (actually I’ve always loved big hair) but now I’m into the big hair cowboy boots combo.
If you are thinking you are too ‘this coast’ or ‘that coast’ to be caught dead as a Taylor Swift look-a-like. Well then you have to ask yourself, what is life if not one big country song?** So never say never. That’s what fivel*** taught us.
It’s time for all of us to discover our hair’s full potential.
Tease It Up:
*I’ll now be including ya’ll into my vocabulary.
**Yeah I don’t know what that means either.
***Fivel is a young Russian mouse who starred in American Tale. He gets separated from his family and must find them while trying to survive in a new country. It’s great if you are 8 years old or probably even better if you are high as an adult. Not that I would know because I took D.A.R.E.
May 17, 2013 § 3 Comments
January 31, 2013 § 5 Comments
I see a lot of blogs with the title “Item Of The Day” and I like to follow the cool kids. I guess, ‘sulking with hair in your face’, isn’t technically an item. Maybe I should have said, ‘Item of the day: Hair Ties’ but that seemed confusing since the theme is more the lack of hair ties? I’m still working on this whole blog writing thing.
Somebody Please Get Me A Hair Tie, I’m Too Sad To Get One Myself:
January 16, 2013 § 4 Comments
January 14, 2013 § 3 Comments
Pass the Gatorade and the self judgement. Depending on how much and what kind of drinks I’ve had the night before occassionally I’ll wake up with what I call an ’emotional hangover’.
An emotional hangover, is accompanied by all the traditional symptoms of a hangover only with feelings bitch slapping you in the face.
Why is my mind seeking revenge on me? Why does it want to spend the day emotionally manipulating me?
My mind begins circulating random thoughts, fretting about things that may or may not have happened. I’m fairly certain I’ve aged 10 years over one night. The fact that I cry during any movie where someone achieves something, doesn’t make me a psychopath. Or does it? I don’t understand why I’m not constantly being congratulated for living.
Then I just decide I’ll live the rest of my life tucked under my blankets listening to emo tracks on repeat.
I refuse to leave the house until I feel like a person.
Only Bra-less Couch Sitting Can Cure Me:
January 3, 2013 § 2 Comments
A friend of mine recently threw a dinner party where not only one but two of her ex’s were in attendance. The only thing I could reason was, that sneaky little hooker must be planning some sort of ambush or at the very least an intervention. All night I waited for the drama to unfold. Only it didn’t. I was mildy disgusted at how smoothly the whole thing went.
For the most part I try not to stay in contact with anyone whose ever broken my heart. It’s kind of a rule of mine. Thinking back on those moments together gives me an overall sense of ickiness I can only really compare to walking through spiderwebs.
I just don’t see the point in keeping friendships like that. My thought is, if you can stay friends with an ex; either you aren’t really friends or that’s all you ever were. It took me a long time but I finally realized some bridges are worth burning. It was a different life. A different me.
Sure I can say, I’m glad it all happened. I learned a very valuable lesson from the countless hours I spent giving a f*ck but we all know that’s bullshit. If I could completely erase every memory, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second. I’m not that sentimental.
Good Luck With Your Face:
December 21, 2012 § 1 Comment