February 8, 2013 § Leave a comment
- There are 3 questions I ask myself every time I get dressed: Does this outfit make me look like an alcoholic? If I fall down is there a chance my lady parts will be exposed? And the ever classic – is my fatness showing?
- I don’t hold grudges. I just hate you for what you did.
- How come whenever you see a picture or drawing of a mermaid she is super hot? It seems unrealistic that all mermaids are really good looking. Most likely a lot of them are just average and I’m sure at least a few are pretty white trashy.
- The jig is up. I’ll admit it, I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.
- I am a hugger who force-hugs non-huggers.
Wake Me When I’m Famous:
January 23, 2013 § 3 Comments
I have some questions that I can’t ask the internet or that I asked the internet and the answer was inconclusive. I’m flying blind here and I’m not sure who to turn to. If you happen to be an authority of some kind and know any of these answers please tell me. Tell me now.
- Do kids still learn cursive?
- Why won’t Ken propose to Barbie?
- Aren’t acronyms just initials and initials just acronyms?
- When are fanny packs going to officially come back in?
- Why isn’t everyone obsessed with narwhals?
- Which one is the pretty sister – MK or Ashley?
- Is it just me or does Ryan Gosling look a little Methy*?
- Do you want me to tell you where it hurts?
- Is your accent real? Is anyones real?
- Are boner jokes funnier than fart jokes?
Is it true any exposure is good exposure?
- Can you get pregnant from kissing?
- Who would win in a fight – Conan O’Brien or Jon Stewart?
- Who would win in a dance fight – Conan O’Brien or Jon Stewart?
- Will someone carry me home?
Let’s Just Remember At One Point, I Was Funny:
*One who looks as if they have just come off a methamphetamine bender.