May 16, 2013 § 5 Comments
Listen up. This is important. And when I say important you should know that I don’t really mean it.
I just wanted to let you know that hula hooping is my new thing. Which may have you thinking – What? Oh come on. Is it awkward season already?
Well that was rude of you. And no, no its not awkward season. I don’t even think that is a thing. But if it was a thing it wouldn’t be until at least mid-July.
But getting back to hula hooping, you really shouldn’t be so judgmental. It is perfectly ok for an adult to pound a 5 hour energy then jam out to music videos while hula hooping like a maniac.*
Trrruuusttt me. Its more than ok. It’s freakin’ awesome. You should totally try it cause of like cardio and stuff.
And not to brag but I was born to hula hoop. Which is kind of a shit thing to be born to do since you can’t make a living off of it** and it comes up once in a fucking never. But with that said, I’ll probably still have to quit my job to go on a tour.
I am also available for sponsorships and classy events.***
Cause That’s How I Roll:
* Not for 5 hours though. I’m not a psychopath.
** MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: Hula Hooping Strip Club
*** The kind with swag bags aka celebrity gift bags full of free shit.
December 18, 2012 § 1 Comment
My New Year’s resolution this year (and every year) is to get a hot bod. And I swear to god this year its actually going to happen.
When I’m trying to save calories I typically replace wine with a roofie over some splenda, ice and diet tonic water.
I also, try to workout. Which is why I decided to take my first pole dancing class. Initially I had my reservations. It seemed like it would just be a lot of rolling around on the ground getting bruises on my hips. But it turns out its actually super-fun swinging around that pole. So this year I’m adding on a few more items to my New Year’s Resolution list:
- Become an expert at pole dancing
- Make a friend who has a stripper pole
You Never Know When It Could Save Your Life:
Jamie’s Workout Mix