January 31, 2014 § 1 Comment
I’m super excited for Sunday! I don’t actually give a shit about the football part I’m just excited for the day drinking! I support any and all causes that make getting drunk before noon socially acceptable. I also support anything that is supremely popular because I don’t like to be left out.
Now for my Superbowl Sunday predictions:
I predict that Peyton’s brother, Eli, will start drinking a little too fast early on in the day and he’ll start annoying everyone by sticking that giant foam, We’re #1, finger in people’s faces. And one of Peyton’s friends will be like, ‘yo, cut it out!’ and Eli will be like, ‘easy breezy dude, just trying to have a good time’ but he’ll really be thinking, ‘who the fuck brought this guy?‘ and then slowly but surely Eli will get way too drunk like he always does. And Eli won’t even care or apologize to Cooper (Peyton’s youngest brother) who will have to miss the last quarter of the game to look after him when he gets sick.
And then Cooper will tell Peyton what happened and when Peyton brings it up to Eli, Eli will be like, ‘sorry man‘ but it won’t be a real apology because Eli never owns up to anything. And Peyton will feel like Eli doesn’t truly support him but he’ll choose to just drop it because no one, not even Eli, is going to ruin his special day.
And then months will pass and it’ll seem like Peyton and Eli are totally cool but then on Thanksgiving it’ll come up again. And this time it’s in front of pop-pop, who hates it when the boys fight. And Eli will try to avoid the issue by making Peyton seem petty. He’ll say something like, ‘oh, here we go again Peyton, let’s hear it’.
And Peyton will be so frustrated he’ll shut himself in the bathroom because he just needs a moment to himself and he’ll cry a little and Peyton hardly ever cries. And Eli will hear him and know on some level, deep down, he really is sorry but he doesn’t know how to say it. Then Peyton will pull himself together and head back to the table without another word because he just wants to have a nice Thanksgiving dinner like a normal family.
Years later Eli will work through his issues with a therapist and in a joint session between him and Peyton he’ll finally apologize and this time he’ll mean it.
We’re On Each Other’s Team
March 27, 2013 § 1 Comment
Yesterday social media sites were flooded with supporters of same-sex marriage showin’ the love, which made my heart very happy.
Its about love. Well of course, its about love. But its also about equality. If you don’t happen to be gay then play along with me for a moment and imagine that these are a few of your rights that will continue to be denied if the Supreme Court votes against same-sex marriage:
You wouldn’t be able to see your loved one in the ICU, even if it turned out to be their final hours.
If you raised a child together and you separated, you would have no legal rights to custody or visitiation of that child. Or if your partner died, you would not be the guardian. They would go back into the system. And adopting a child as a single parent is a battle not easily won.
Even if you and your partner were together for 30 years, if they died you would have no rights to their belongings, which could include the house you live in. And you wouldn’t get a say in any of the burial decision either.
Then there are the tax deductions you wouldn’t get, shared health benefits you wouldn’t received, you wouldn’t be able to sue for ‘wrongful death’ if something happened to your partner, there would be no conjugal visits if your loved one was incarcerated, no immigration or residency benefits for non-citizen partners, no alimony or child support upon separation, you wouldn’t be able to claim ‘marital communication’ if you were called to testify against your partner and unfortunately the list goes on.
Its wrong to deny anyone these rights. Its disgusting its still up for debate. But I have complete faith everything is going to turn out wonderful and I’ll have some pretty sweet weddings to attend in the near future.
We Belong Together:
February 27, 2013 § 6 Comments
And its Arrested Development.
I know the release date is still months away but I’m stupidly excited about the new season on Netflix. And if you happen to need another reason to get excited about the upcoming season…then get out of my blog. Leave now. Seriously get out.
Ok for the rest of you who are still with me, aren’t you just shit-your-pants excited that Ben Stiller, Seth Rogan and Kristen Wiig will be guest starring?!
Can. Not. Wait.
Has Anyone In This Family Ever Even Seen A Chicken?
Remember – Girls With Low Self-Esteem, F*ck City, Never Nude and Afternoon Delight?? Just to name a few. I could go on, its all so painfully awesome but I think you get my point by now.