Burn One Down

February 15, 2013 § 9 Comments

One time I set my kitchen on fire. And not like a cute metaphorical fire. I mean like an actual, OMG! DO YOU SMELL SMOKE? do…not…panic…NO, YOU SHOULD PANIC! REALLY PANIC! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! STOP, DROP AND ROLL! ITS TOO LATE FOR THAT! WE ARE ALL GOING TO BURN TO DEATH, kind of fire.

Occasionally I will start to do something and then completely forget about it. This is problematic when that ‘something’ is cooking.

Oh don’t get all judgy about the whole thing.

Like you’ve never started out to make a quesadilla, gotten a little side tracked, then decided you were going to take a long shower and then come out of the bathroom to find your panicked (and kind of screamy) upstairs neighbor has kicked down your front door and is unloading a fire extinguisher on to your flaming cabinets.

My first thought was, SOMEBODY IS TRYING TO HAVE ME KILLED!’  But then I remembered the quesadilla and it all started to make sense.

I blame the architect. I mean those cabinets really went up in flames. It should not be that easy to set all of your cabinets on fire like that. And with only one lousy toaster oven? That seems like real negligence.

And just as a warning to all of you out there, sending your neighbors running out of their apartment coughing and teary eyed, is not an ideal way to make friends. Cause no matter how many kick-ass BBQ’s I threw it was always overshadowed by that one time everyone almost burned to death.

I Should Be Supervised At All Times:





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