Even I Have Standards

January 9, 2013 § 5 Comments

Dating. It’s a tricky bitch. But do not fret, I’m here for you.

Everyone has their list of dealbreakers, even if it’s only a mental list. You meet a hot guy and you think to yourself, “Please God, don’t let him be racist.”

If you don’t have the time/energy to get together your own list, feel free to use mine. It’s pretty solid.

Jamie’s List of Deal-Breakers

  • Bad at sports that aren’t really sports (i.e. kickball/dodgeball)
    • This one can’t be helped. I have a knee jerking repulsion response towards anyone who sucks at a “sport” that is typically played by kids under the age of twelve. It’s not very nice of me, but its absolutely true.
  • If you’re into the nose drugs
    • I’m not judging. I just don’t want you wasting money on drugs you could be spending on me.
  • If you have ever said, “Just let the grown-ups talk.”
    • Har, har, har. That’s a real thing a human said to me once. Really, you think you’re smarter than me? I challenge you to a game of Trivial Pursuit. Right here. Right now. Winner gets to stab the loser. Loser gets to drive himself to the hospital.
  • Religious
    • Sorry, nothing personal. I’m just more of a Sunday Fun-day kind of girl.
  • You say, “I have a crazy ex-girlfriend”
    • All I hear is, “I’m an asshole and I’ll eventually make you feel like you’re crazy.”
  • Judgey McGee
    • High morals = Low fun, that’s just math.
  • And for God sakes, just pay the bill
    • I would date a murderer before I’d date a bill splitter.

Just to be clear. This list is not a man-hating or man-bashing list. No. This is just my personal list of unbreakables.  And you may have noticed it’s short (and that is not because I have low standards). It’s because I think people should be open when it comes to dating.

As cliche as it is, I think love can be found in the oddest of places (or people). It doesn’t do any harm to say yes, to that first AND second date with someone you initally think you have nothing in common with. At the very least you’ll gain a new experience. And if all goes well, you never know.

Long Story Short – Must Be Good In Bed:

Hot Guy and Husky

Jon Hamm

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt

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