December 31, 2012 § Leave a comment
December 24, 2012 § 2 Comments
December 21, 2012 § 1 Comment
December 20, 2012 § 1 Comment
Smash Cut To: The World Is Ending
You see, times like this make me regret every ‘good’ decision I’ve ever made. If the world ends tomorrow I will be really upset that I didn’t do at least ten times more f*cked up shit than what I’ve done.
And also, sidenote – what does one wear to the end of the world? Something practical like hiking boots, a pocket knife and rain jacket? Or something elegant, like a captain going down with his ship?
If this is another false alarm I’ll be pissed I wasted an entire post on it.
I should really go do something…
When you think about it, it’s all Taylor Swift’s fault.
My Whole Life Up to This Point Has Been a Complete Lie:
December 19, 2012 § 1 Comment
I believe whole-heartedly (exclusively) in positive reinforcement but I think I may have gone a little overboard. I realized that I seem to be patting myself on the back for just about anything…
Jamie’s List of Things I’m Proud of But Really Shouldn’t Be
- Washing my face before bed
- Being on time for work
- Not getting murdered
- Remembering to pack my gym bag even when I don’t make it to the gym
- Not giving a shit
- Falling asleep before 1AM
- Not hating myself in the morning – Progress!
- Drinking water (and not even close to the amount I should be drinking, just any amount of water)
- Not having that second Red Bull
- Drying my hair before leaving the house
- Not burning my toast
- Being able to update my facebook status and do my make-up all while driving to work
- Not saying something stupid and/or offensive during a social event*
- Finishing an entire season of a show in one sitting
- Buying groceries
- Jumping on the bandwagon to read every popular book series, even when I absolutely hate it one sentence in
Shades Of Gray:
*Has not happened.
December 18, 2012 § 1 Comment
My New Year’s resolution this year (and every year) is to get a hot bod. And I swear to god this year its actually going to happen.
When I’m trying to save calories I typically replace wine with a roofie over some splenda, ice and diet tonic water.
I also, try to workout. Which is why I decided to take my first pole dancing class. Initially I had my reservations. It seemed like it would just be a lot of rolling around on the ground getting bruises on my hips. But it turns out its actually super-fun swinging around that pole. So this year I’m adding on a few more items to my New Year’s Resolution list:
- Become an expert at pole dancing
- Make a friend who has a stripper pole
You Never Know When It Could Save Your Life:
Jamie’s Workout Mix
December 17, 2012 § 1 Comment
Buying gifts is hard work. But not to worry my loves, I’m here to help!
If Anyone Gives Me Food as a Gift, I’ll Be Pissed:
I Heart These Clips
This Cat Eared Headband is Too Precious!
Heroin & Cocaine Shakers
BFF Iphone Cases
I Need This Reminder Pillow
Flask – Always a Good Idea
December 14, 2012 § 1 Comment
Whenever I get a random idea for something to write about I usually jot down a quick note in my phone. Sometimes when I go back to look at these I realize they are useless, either because they are really stupid or because I have no idea what I was talking about. Rather than letting these random thoughts go to waste, I thought I’d share a few.
Random Thoughts by Jamie
- Can you get a cheaper haircut?
- My alter ego thinks your stupid
- Best case scenario – he’s still a wizard
- Killer whale ebonics
- Girl handing out meat samples in food court gets attacked by birds (or squirrels or a seeing eye dog)
- Harvard Law – Just kidding
- Skinny girls have huge bushes
- Tupac’s hologram gets shot
- A sexually transmitted disease where you die – not slowly, but instantly
- Is it just me or does Dane Cook seem like a real dick?
- Tom Young Soup and Spicy wrap – wait no…that was a lunch order
- A pink bitch who can’t get potty trained
- Leftover Chinese food is like porn, once your finished its just gross
- Over Eaters Anonymous who lunch together
- Really bad poetry
- It would be like not f*cking James Dean – if he was alive, and not gay and also, not old
- Kind of like Kick Ass but with Mario & Luigi – only they are both really hot
- Fat kid snack – mac n’ cheese inside a tater tot
- Life Lesson 89: Not everyone is impressed with a backbend
- Blackout is such an ugly word, I prefer – highly developed coping mechanism
- He’s the human version of food poisoning – only with less vomiting and more diarrhea, cha cha cha
- Glitter contacts
- You win some, you dim sum
I have actually a LOT more of these but I guess I’ll save those for another random thought Friday. And now some random pictures. Enjoy!