December 31, 2012 § Leave a comment
December 24, 2012 § 2 Comments
December 21, 2012 § 1 Comment
December 18, 2012 § 1 Comment
My New Year’s resolution this year (and every year) is to get a hot bod. And I swear to god this year its actually going to happen.
When I’m trying to save calories I typically replace wine with a roofie over some splenda, ice and diet tonic water.
I also, try to workout. Which is why I decided to take my first pole dancing class. Initially I had my reservations. It seemed like it would just be a lot of rolling around on the ground getting bruises on my hips. But it turns out its actually super-fun swinging around that pole. So this year I’m adding on a few more items to my New Year’s Resolution list:
- Become an expert at pole dancing
- Make a friend who has a stripper pole
You Never Know When It Could Save Your Life:
Jamie’s Workout Mix
December 17, 2012 § 1 Comment
Buying gifts is hard work. But not to worry my loves, I’m here to help!
If Anyone Gives Me Food as a Gift, I’ll Be Pissed:
I Heart These Clips
This Cat Eared Headband is Too Precious!
Heroin & Cocaine Shakers
BFF Iphone Cases
I Need This Reminder Pillow
Flask – Always a Good Idea
December 12, 2012 § Leave a comment
Tis’ the season to downsize that purse of yours. I stumbled upon a few super-fun clutches that just might be perfect for this year’s round of holiday parties. You can thank me later!
H&M Candy Wrapper Clutch – Freakin’ Sweet
Pause. Rewind. What’s that you say a VHS Clutch? Yup. See how to DIY here
Domino Pandora Clutch – Game on Bitches
Looking for something a bit more chic to hold your 40? Try this stamped Bodega Bag ($140 – yes, really) P.S. This bag is stupid.
This clutch is made from recycled magazines. Upside – its green. Downside: people may assume you are taking a #2 every time you enter a restroom, purse in hand.
December 10, 2012 § 1 Comment
You ever wake up soul-less? My answer? All the time. And my first thought is always, maybe I should go back to the bar and ask the bartender if anyone turned it in. And as long as he’s back there searching through this make believe lost and found, could he also look for my self respect, virginity and about a dozen old credit cards.
But then I think – F*ck it, I’ll just grab a coconut water and eat myself to death while watching endless episodes of Kitchen Nightmares.
You know how it goes, one minute your downing shots of Jameson and the next minute your pulling the whole ‘puke and roll’ move. Rough night. But what’s really rough is the next day. And I’ve been hungover enough to know what places to avoid at all costs.
Jamie’s Guide of Places to Avoid While Hungover
- Kenny Chesney Concert or really, any country music concert
- Six Flags Magic Mountain
- Any form of public transportation
- Christmas shopping
- Helping a friend move
- A party bus
- Any place of worship
- An AA Meeting
- Trader Joe’s on a Sunday
Jamie’s List of The Worst Places To Vomit
- A secret hiding place – because the non-drunk version of yourself will eventually find it
- In your car – no amount of interior detailing is detailed enough, you’ll be stuck enjoying the faint smell of vomit for the next 6 to 12 months
- On public transportation during rush hour – its enough shame to last a lifetime
- At your company’s holiday party
- Into your own lungs
I Puke Glitter: