Girl Fight

November 14, 2012 § Leave a comment

I’m all for women supporting each other, which is why I am offering all the lovely ladies out there – Jamie’s Guide on How to Win a Girl Fight.

There are two ways girls fight:

Passive Aggressive

  • Pretending to be concerned when you really just want someone to hurry the f*ck up – Are you ok in there?  I was getting worried.
  • Expressing pissed-off-ness through a seemingly friendly question – Was it hard to find? Did you get lost?  Translation: You are so rude and so late.
  • Backhanded Compliments – I don’t care what anyone says. I think you can totally pull off bangs.
  • Disapproval in Disguise, asking a faux helpful question – How’s the job search going? Translation: When the  f*ck are you getting off my couch?
  • Half & Half, half compliment/half insult, followed by an immediate exit – I almost bought those….as a joke.

Girl Fight

  • Always get the first punch, even if its a sucker punch – a fight is usually won in the first few blows
  • Jabs may look cool but if you really want to take someone down, you are going to have to put your body weight behind those punches
  • Make sure your thumb is on the outside of your fist, otherwise you’ll break it
  • Try to stay on your feet, if she has you pinned you’ve lost. If you are on top, this is the most opportune time for her friends to bum-rush you
  • Remember, fights are not about avoiding getting hit, that is how people lose fights. Obviously you don’t want to get punched in the face, so protect yourself by keeping your hands up. Never put your head down, this will result in two girls pulling each other’s hair and that is embarrassing.

Say It Again & See What Happens:

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