Inspiration Lush

The fact that you clicked on this post after reading that title means you are my perfect target audience.

Welcome.

First off, let me start by saying I have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about.

Second, the following is a list of really good advice and my gift to you.

Although this ‘gift’ may be more like one of those pop-up ads that starts playing music when you have 80 tabs open. What I mean by that is, you’ll have to come find me before I’ll shut the fuck up. But until then…

Word To The Wise

1. Sometimes when someone tells you they don’t want to be with you and you tell them they are ‘just afraid of love.’ You are wrong.
2. If you go out to the bar and not one person notices you, you are not unattractive. You are a ninja.
3. ‘Facebook friends forever’ a lot of times equals ‘real friends never.’
4. Start being a vegan if you are too lazy to poop solids.*
5. Drinking to the excess can really fuck you up but not more than feelings.
6. If you love something set it free: except for people who might actually leave, your children and animals you’ve adopted.
7. Your eharmony account is not the appropriate platform to showcase your food allergies.
8. NEVER EVER make fun of Anne Hathaway to her face.
9. Jokes you say in real life that include ‘hashtag’ are officially over.
10. Wear something with the word ‘fuck’ on it if you are seeking high-fives from strangers.

This Is What Actively Disappointing Your Parents Looks Like. High-Five:

*Another version I thought of for this one became the title of this post.