May 30, 2014 § 1 Comment
Tom Cruise Wants To Go On a Date With You, He Isn’t Your Type But He Wins You Over With His Charm
Tom Cruise Makes You Laugh, You Try Not To Get Attached But You Can’t Help It, There’s Just Something About Him
Tom Cruise Makes You Feel Like Maybe This Love Thing Isn’t All BS
Tom Cruise Gives You Butterflies, Starts to Make You Feel Whole
Tom Cruise Introduces You as His Girlfriend
Tom Cruise Suddenly Grows Distant, Stops Asking You How Your Day Was
Tom Cruise Gets Easily Agitated, Starts Being Critical of Your Outfits
Tom Cruise Starts Picking Fights For No Reason
Tom Cruise Comes Home Late and is Dismissive When You Ask Where He’s Been
Tom Cruise Says, It’s Over, Asks You to Leave, Says There is Nothing Left to Say
Tom Cruise Misses You, Thinks About What He Could Have Done Differently
Tom Cruise Regrets What He Said, Wants You Back Now
Tom Cruise Doesn’t Know How To Live Without You
Tom Cruise Asks Dustin Hoffman How To Win You Back
Hoffman Thinks Maybe a New Hair Style Will Work
Tom Cruise Likes All Your Posts in Hopes He’ll Get Your Attention
Tom Cruise Says, Baby, I’m Sorry, Just Give Me a Chance to Make this Right. I Can Make This Right.
Tom Cruise Seems Different This Time Around
Tom Cruise Will Never Take You For Granted Again
Tom Cruise Stretches Before He Enters You
Tom Cruise Is Now The Father of Your Babies, He’s Such a Good Dad
The End. TOM CRUISE FOR-EVA EVA AFTER
May 22, 2014 § 1 Comment
This is by definition procrastination. I’m writing a blog post instead of doing all the other shit I really need to be doing. Like seriously need to be doing. I guess this is part of my process?
How about I tell you a story?
This is the story of when I stole a car before I had my license, drove to Oakland to attend a REM concert but got lost and never made it. ‘Borrowed without asking’ is really much more accurate since it was only my parent’s car but ‘stole’ makes it sound dramatic and hood so I think I’ll stick with that version of the story.
If you know me, you know I tend to lean towards the fly by the seat of my pants (but while still making it to work the next day and also visiting the dentist on a semi-regular basis) end of the spectrum which has served me both well and terribly throughout the years. This night was a mix of both. I’d give almost everything I have to be back at that night. Not because it was so great but because I was fifteen and truly did not give a fuck, the way only teenagers can.
I can almost barely remember what it’s like to not give that much of a fuck because as an adult even when I pretend to not give a fuck, in the back of my mind I’m really thinking ‘this is going to be a fucking mess’.
But when you’re young, you are blissfully unaware. You are living in the now, believing that the happiness of the moment is worth any fallout because in reality you don’t know how truly terrible the fallout can be.
In those days there was little I needed to truly be happy, mostly just an alcoholic beverage and a lot of attention from whoever I wanted attention from most in that moment. Maybe that part hasn’t really changed.
Anyways, these were the days before GPS was really a thing so that night when we got lost, we were really actually fucking lost. We pulled over and I hopped out to ask a gas station attendant which way the stadium was. I remember it because it was such a strange interaction, one I still think about. Immediately I could tell he hated me but in his defense I was being myself.
I think maybe he didn’t really hate me as much as the thought of me – a 15 year old drunk girl lost in, essentially the ghetto, asking for directions to a fucking REM concert on a Tuesday night.
I don’t blame him, I would have also hated me.
God, I’m realizing how anti-climatic this story really is. I apologize. WELCOME TO MY JOURNAL!! HERE ARE SOME PRESSED FLOWERS 0_0 Ok, let me fast forward —
— we never found our way to the concert, instead we bought wine coolers, found a parking spot overlooking the bay and sat there on the hood of the car talking about the things bright eyed bushy tailed youths talk about, while occasionally taking breaks to pee in the nearby bushes. I got home around 3AM, was grounded for a week and that’s it. That was the night. But for some reason even writing this now makes me smile. It was a good night.
Speaking of home, whenever I visit I sleep like a coma patient, heavy but weightless, sweaty with flickering eyelids, sometimes for 12 hours at a time. And whenever life gets hard I find myself wanting to bound home like a lost puppy, curl up in my childhood bed and sleep, blissfully unaware, like I used to.
The Simple Way of Complicated Things: