I Genuinely Have Nothing to Say

March 6, 2014 § 8 Comments

But I don’t know. I just missed you guys, I guess.

So little to say…maybe I shouldn’t have even written this post?

I did, though.

I'm so bored gif

Ok, here’s the plan. We drink. And that’s the plan.

So, m’babes, let’s get together and pop open a bottle of wine. Just grab your Caloric Cuvee glass. Oh? You don’t have one?

Don’t touch me. Monster.

Fine. I’ll introduce you. Behold – the Caloric Cuvee wine glass. LOOK AT IT!

Caloric Cuvee

Maybe you should take a closer look. ENHANCE. ENHANCE. ENHANCE. And I’ll add a tiny model! Ok, now look!

Caloric Cuvee

You can fill it to the calorie marks, super helpful, or you can fill it so high that the feelings you usually reserve for your dream journal spill out into real life.

Pre-tay sweet. And I’m not just saying that cause this super cool company sent me some free shit. I am not above selling out. Trust. But these glasses are actually freakin’ adorable. And you can totally get in on this. Just leave a comment below letting me know why wine is your favorite beverage. And if it isn’t, lie.

Then I’ll choose my favorite (sexual favors encouraged) and Caloric Cuvee will send you a free glass to call your own. Boo-ya! Biz-natches! Don’t say I never gave you anything. AND EVERYTHING IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!

Now look at the pictures.

Someone Buy My Blog…

Hi Five

Yay!

laying in the street

Champagne in the street

jumping on the bed

confetti

double fisting it

Dog with sunglasses

In bed

Relaxing in this tree

Wine boobs

Wine Glass

Stuff That Matters as Much as Other Shit You Read on the Internet

February 18, 2014 § 7 Comments

Pictures I found, mostly on the world wide web, and then put words under.

Cause Why Not:

Dog on roof

There goes my hero, watch him as he goes.

Vandalism / Car

YOU NEVER PLAY WITH MY HAIR!!

Dog Astronaut

One time I ate chicken for all 3 meals. 

Jesus break dancing

John 8:32

Bear on a couch

Baby girl is upset because her flat screen is on backorder.

Booty game too strong / engrish

Think about it.

beyonce dancing

Dance like everyone still has a flip phone.

Neck Wrestling

And they say romance is dead.

Kaitlyn Weaver & Andrew Poje show passion on ice

Wait. What was I doing?

Drinking Gif

My name is Jamie and I like the taste of alcohol. 

Happy Dog

Have a magical day, you beautiful beautiful people.

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